NICU Day #4

I cannot believe our little guy has been here over three days already. As I post, I would have just hit 30 weeks today. It makes me sad that I can no longer feel him in my belly, but I love seeing him everyday and even more love holding him each night.

Today was a wonderful day!

As I sat holding Timmy last night, I got to thinking about Lisa's wedding. I had just talked to my mom and everyone was going to meet at the church an hour before. James was going to take the kids up anyway but didn't plan on staying much into the reception. So then I started thinking that I could handle that. We'd leave around 2, get to Chandler at 4, wedding at 5, stay until 6:30 or 7 and be home around 9, put the kids to bed and be at the hospital around 10. I could definitely handle that.

Or maybe half of that. I was fine through the drive up, getting the kids ready, through the wedding - absolutely beautiful. Lisa looked gorgeous and we are all more than thrilled to have Travis in our family. He is a great guy and we wish them all the happiest of ever afters - and through about the first hour of the reception. However, updating everyone on Timmy got me thinking about him all the more and before I knew it, I couldn't stop and the tears just came. By 7, I knew we needed to leave. I was desperate to have my tiny little boy back in my arms. (Not to mention that Trevy, Landon and Callie were all exhausted at that point too and needed to be in bed!) So we headed home.

I was due for another pumping session when we got here so I helped James get the kids to bed and pumped. I know - TMI for most - but this was amazing. My first 1/2 ounce! My milk supply has steadily been increasing, especially at night after holding Timmy. I'm so happy to be able to take milk to the NICU for them to store so that he will have it when he can take it. (They won't be able to try again until the PDA is closed and they won't know about that until he finishes the medicine tomorrow and they do another echocardiogram on Monday.)

I finally made it to the NICU around 11:30. Yes, exhaustion was already setting in, but there's no way I could have gone to sleep without seeing him. I rode up the elevator with his nurse from last night and she told me she didn't have him tonight, but knew that his bilirubin has dropped to about 5.6. So he's still under the lights, but at least things are going in the right direction.

The best surprise of tonight was walking into the pod where Timmy is and the first thing I saw was his face. No CPAP!!! And no cannula! He's been breathing on his own all day! I'm so relieved to see what Dr. M calls the "rhino look" gone. Just hoping he can keep it up. The nurses have already warned that the NICU is usually 2 steps forward, 1 step back so he could be back on some sort of respiratory support tomorrow. So wish I had thought to take the camera tonight. Definitely tomorrow!

I only got to hold Timmy for 30 minutes tonight because of the bilirubin, but I'd drive over there for 30 seconds! It's just the perfect ending to my days. It's so quiet in there and I love to sit there when everything is peaceful and just hold my little boy. Tonight was a double blessing to get to sit and hold him and admire every little tiny detail of his perfect sweet face. He even opened his eyes for me. And now I can sleep with his sweet image in my head. Pleasant dreams, sweetheart!