Wednesday night was honestly not the night I had expected it to be. It was the last night for holding for a while and I really just wanted it to be a sweet night with Timmy.
Such was not the case. I felt like I was constantly being one-upped with everything I said. Timmy's nurse had retaped his ventilator tube again and I forget what she was doing but he started wiggling, arms and legs, and she said something about his dancing hands. I commented that his feet were all over too and she said, "Yeah, but it's the hands I'm worried about." I know!!! Everyone has been watching his hands for weeks to keep him from pulling the tube out himself.
I was also there over yet another pumping session (I know, huge surprise for anyone out there who has read all my posts since Timmy's birth) and put the milk in the fridge. She was out when I put the milk in but there when I took it out to take it home with me and told me that I shouldn't bring anymore milk in because he wouldn't be able to have it for a while. Really?! This probably frustrated me the most. Maybe it shouldn't, but the fact that I was taking it out I thought would indicate that I wasn't bringing any more in. I had watched her give Timmy Pedialyte in place of breastmilk at his 11:00 feeding and I had already been told he would be NPO at the time of surgery. I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but I don't think I'm the slowest either and don't like to be treated as such.
Again she didn't offer to take him out for me to hold and this time I didn't ask. Timmy looked so peaceful and I really wanted to let him have a good rest before his surgery. Of course that always means "photo shoot by mom."
We had a bit of a debate about the time James and I should arrive in the morning before Timmy's surgery. When Lisa called, she had told me that we needed to be there at 7. I even asked if James and I both needed to be there and she said she wasn't sure but the instructions made it sound like we should both be there. So we were planning on being there at 7am. The nurse told me that we should be there earlier because if they said 7, that probably meant that the surgeon wanted to start at 7 but they usually want to take the baby down an hour earlier. Did she really want me to come back at 6? I told her I was specifically told that we needed to be there at 7. We would try to come a little earlier but we were already putting James's mom out to have her come so freakishly early in the morning as it was. And I was told 7am.
Not to cause any concern. I think she really knows her stuff and does a wonderful job taking care of Timmy, just not sure her personality meshes so well with mine.
I was actually home at midnight Wednesday night.
Happy anniversary, James! Nine beautiful years of wedded bliss. Hoping next year's anniversary is a little more like the other 8 have been.
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