Feeling Overwhelmed

Today has been a bit overwhelming.  Just all the to-dos, the want-to-dos, need-to-dos, should-dos...  I have been working on getting a routine going with myself and the kids since Timmy came home and I guess that's what I'm struggling with.  I enjoyed the routine I had with the three and I guess I'm just trying to squeeze Timmy's needs into the same mold and it just isn't working.  It's not that taking care of his trach is incredibly difficult or strenuous, but it does take time, time to suction, time to change ties, time to change the trach, time to clean the trach, time to clean out the suction container, time to replace the fluids to rinse the suction tubing...and it all adds up.  Up to more than the spare time I had with three kids.

It was also a lot easier to put three kids down for naps when I could just put two in cribs and snuggle with the third.  I have a friend who has often said, "If you want an adventure, have twins!"  I would just add that if that's not enough, add a preemie.  And if that isn't enough, throw in a trach.  And it that still isn't enough, ask someone else!

I spent the entire day in pajamas today.  Which may not bother some, but I don't find it enjoyable.  Feels like I miss the "day" part of the day.  Not to mention that inevitably that will be the day that people come over.  We had the repair man finally come to fix our little deep freeze.  (Yes, the one we bought last month.  The compressor went out the week after we bought it.  Fortunately, we ran out of regular milk in the house and I went out to get one to thaw and thought how lucky it was that I had a gallon that wasn't totally frozen yet.  But what was that snow on the outside of the gallon?  Oh, that was the condensation from my previously frozen milk thawing!  Fabulous!  Luckily there wasn't much in there at that point so I was able to move the gallons of milk into our fridge.  The biggest loss was six days worth of pumping.  Counting my blessings that I hadn't had time to move the major stash from our kitchen freezer.  (However, Timmy isn't a huge fan of the bottle these days so if anyone is in need, I would be happy to share so it doesn't go to waste!))  And Jon came over to hang out tonight.

I decided to start FLYing again a couple of days ago in the hopes that something could help me gain control of this chaos but I was only able to get the kitchen sink 90% shined so I feel like I'm still on Day 1 there too.  Guess it's better than nothing.

We started repainting/organizing the kids' room about a month ago and that has been slow to come together as well.  The original thought never quite came together and the paint we chose was, well, let's just say a bit brighter than we saw in the store.  Fun, pretty, but "limeolicious" just isn't an "all-wall" color.  So my mom and Amy and I have been tossing around ideas for the past few weeks trying to come up with another plan to get the toys and colors in the room under control.  The bunk bed is still pulled out from the wall and Trevy's bed is still covered with stuff so she is still sleeping with James.  I so desperately want the room done at this point.  I think it's making it hard for the kids to sleep because Trevy sleeps with James and, apparently, is under the impression that she doesn't have to go to bed until he does and the twins don't like their room so they both want to sleep with me.  (Mind you, I feel very loved that they want to "seep a mommy's bed", but it makes me feel elderly waking up when they do!)

I know we will get into a routine at some point.  Hard to schedule things with a baby who eats and sleeps on demand. 

I could just ramble and ramble, but I'm also very tired about now and that may have something to do with it.  Guess I should get myself to bed.  Good thing I already have my pajamas on...