Timmy's First Home-iversary

(Thanks, Jenn, for the post title!)

I'm not sure a post could ever say exactly what I feel in my heart or cover the expanse of thought and emotion that I have had and felt over the past year and a half.  But Timmy's discharge was such a long time in coming (at least it seemed so a year ago!) that it's worth celebrating a million times over!

I'm still a little in shock at how fast the past year has gone since Timmy was discharged.  Surprisingly, today was much less emotional for me than yesterday.  I think the night before Timmy was discharged is one of my most vivid memories.  It was a great night - lots of friends happened to be "on" that night so we had a little party while we worked, making sure that Timmy was set to go the next day passing his car seat test and everything.  The day that Timmy came home was a bit rough - hard to wait for my mom to be able to come to be with the kids and hard to wait for James to get off work so he could go get Timmy with me.  I know I could have found someone else to watch the kids for a couple of hours while I ran over to get him, but I really felt that James needed to be there and I really wanted to have my mom here.  So glad she was because that first night (week, month...) were exhausting!

Yesterday was a full day.  I really would like to start getting up to exercise with James and he even came in to wake me up at 5am but I had been roused by little people three times that night and I was just so tired.  So I ended up sleeping until 8:30 and found all the kids already awake when I got up.  I'm really not sure how long they had been up. They have figured out how to work the DVD player (it's a TV/VCR/DVD combo with the players on the bottom) so they will usually just pop Strawberry Shortcake in, given the chance.  We had breakfast and played a little and then the kids wanted to watch Mama Mirabelle.  (I think it used to be on PBS.  We got a free DVD with a book that was given to us)  I told them they could watch it after they helped me pick up the living room because grandma was coming to visit.  Landon immediately started hauling stuff down the hall.  I was amazed!  Then the girls got in on the action.  We got the floor cleared in about 10 minutes.  No bribing, so complaining.  Awesome!  After we finished, I couldn't find Callie.  Bless her, she had gone in and put herself down for a nap!  She was out cold!  And suddenly neither Trevy nor Landon wanted to watch the movie, so we brought out the puzzles instead.

My mom recently bought a new sewing/embroidery machine and gets three classes to learn more of the specifics of the machine.  They happen to be on Wednesday mornings.  So we got to see her yesterday after her class.  She brought us lunch and we fixed more puzzles.  I was really hoping that she had a couple of errands to run that she would prefer to do with company.  At present, there's no trip too tedious that the promise of being in an air conditioned space can't overcome!  Yesterday was a warm one, to say the least.  I love the monsoons, but I am beyond ready for the humidity to end!  (No idea how you folks who have it year-round handle this!)  So we went to Frys.  I wanted to take chocolate-dipped strawberries over to the NICU to celebrate the anniversary of Timmy's last night in the NICU.

It took a while to get dinner done and everyone ready and in bed to where I could get the strawberries finished up and load Timmy and his stuff into the car. He had ended up taking a nap from 5 to 6 before dinner so I figured he was going to keep me up late anyway.  Maybe that wouldn't have been the case...

We didn't make it over until closer to 10 and he was really not his usual smiley self.  I had debated on whether or not to go, since Timmy seemed tired, but chocolate-dipped strawberries really aren't so good after 24 hours and I knew that Laurel is always on on Wednesdays, but couldn't be sure she would have been there tonight.  So we went.

I am always so touched when people remember our names without having to ask.  Bea let us in and sent the phone message to see who was available for a visit.  We got to see Vanessa first.  Laurel came out shortly after. 

A couple of other nurses I recognize but never really had the opportunity to chat with came out for other reasons and said hi.  Mary Ann was also on but she didn't stay long as Timmy wasn't in much mood to play anyway.  At least for the first little while, then Margaret worked her magic!

(I wish I could have set him down and let him show off his scoot and spin. However, even as filthy as our floor gets at home that he scoots across, I still think it's safer for him to just stick to a few laminate planks than pick up anything that might be lurking on a hospital tile!)

Margaret is so good at getting kids to smile!

Little cheese!  Timmy just started this yesterday.  He smiles and squeezes his eyes shut.  Then he'll smile and repeat.

We also got to see Doug last night.  There are some very special men that work in that NICU.

One who will always be near and dear and who surprised us was my friend, Tony Arnaud.  We were just about to say goodbye to Laurel when he walked through the doors.  Almost brought me to tears when he said my name.  It really means a lot that he remembers us.  Timmy was discharged on a Wednesday last year and he came in about 5 hours after we took Timmy home.  He's only there on Mondays and Wednesdays so we hadn't seen him the night before either.  So he got hold of our home number and called to wish us luck and say goodbye.  I was so sad that we missed him that last time.  Soooo happy that he was there last night!

He walked me down to the van.  Such a gentleman. Waited while I loaded everything up and got the van started.  Definitely need to take him another home grown tomato! 

We got home last night around 11:30.  I was exhausted after not sleeping well the night before.  Timmy had fallen asleep in my arms while I was chatting with Laurel and Tony and he transferred to and from his car seat without waking up.  Last night was heavenly.  A good night all around.  Everyone slept through the night until 8:00 this morning!

Which always leads to a happier mood.  Timmy actually slept until 10 so I was able to mop the kitchen floor for him to scoot around on.  And then it was just a fun day.  One of those days where the kids are so busy and in such a mood to play that it's not worth cleaning, period.  They were making messes everywhere.  I learned a while back that when they're playing like that, there's no keeping things clean around them.  It's a waste of time to even try.  Rather than frustrate yourself, better to just call it a fun day and join the kids instead.  So we colored, played with play-dough, read a few books, built Lego towers, stacked blocks for Timmy...  The kids were like ping-pong balls, rotating activities every 15 minutes or so.  It was fun to watch them.

I tend to be very nostalgic and have a hard time letting go of events, people and places.  Especially major ones.  Like Timmy's discharge.  So I was surprised that today wasn't sad for me.  It was actually a very pleasant day.  (Maybe I just need more sleep...)

My parents recently gave us their old grill so we had Daniel and Bridgette over to celebrate.  So nice to be able to cook dinner without having to heat up the house!  The dark clouds have been swirling and coming in and out all day but not a drop around here.  So sad!

I think I also tend to beat dead horses to a pulp so I don't want to rehash the past year or Timmy's sojourn in the NICU.  I've already documented everything I could possibly remember and then some. 

At this point, he is starting to pull up more and more.  Not so much on the couches - I think they may be too high for him to get any leverage - but on the chair rungs, pant legs, the open dishwasher...  He sleeps like a little person and flips a lot in his sleep now, often ending up on his side or half on his belly, but he still makes sucking motions in his sleep.  He looks like such a healthy little boy now, not quite baby anymore but not yet full toddler either.  It's hard for me to imagine now just how tiny he was the day he was born.  And sometimes I miss that.  I long to hold my Tiny Tim again.  And in those moments I hold my not-so-Tiny-Timmy just a bit longer.  Kiss him a few extra times. 

I had a funny thought today that if kisses were blue and you couldn't wipe them off, all my kids would look like Smurfs!

Watching kids grow up is one of the hardest and yet most fun parts of being a parent.  It just goes way too fast.  This past year really has flown, in spite of all the long nights and all the worries early on.  I'm sure this next year will go at least as fast.  In some ways I'm glad - can't wait for Timmy to be trach free - but I wouldn't mind time slowing down just a wee bit so I can enjoy my little kiddos just a little longer!