The last two days have been crazy. So many kind people have said so many kind words. I'm honestly not "wonder mom". My house is a disaster right now and my kids have spent the last two days in pajamas and watched at least four movies yesterday and three today so that I don't lose it entirely. This oxygen thing is pretty much kicking my tail end. I guess someone decided that I needed something else because I was actually getting my bed made in the morning and dinner on the table at night a few times this week. But trying to chase after three active preschoolers while trailing a 25-foot line of blue corrugated tubing providing my infant's trach with moisture and connected to another line of thinner tubing carrying oxygen just about did me in stresswise.
With the mess I haven't had a chance to pick up, the lines were constantly getting snagged on or knocking things over. Meanwhile, the pulse oximeter was constantly beeping (although it's not quiet the same beep as the ones in the NICU). Fortunately, I think it was wrong most of the time as the oximeter was either dangling from his foot or his heart rate didn't match his activity level. Why not just set Timmy down and run after the other three? Well, that did work today but he was pretty irritable yesterday morning. I think this was because the moisture provided by the oxygen compressor was not enough to break up the mucous. I called the healthcare company after a couple of thick suctionings and they were able to provide me with a little attachment piece to connect the oxygen tubing to the moisture tubing. I had even tried using an HME to help keep the moisture in before they came, but it was kind of too much stuff for Timmy to have on.
Yesterday I was miraculously able to get all four kids down for a nap at the same time. No, I didn't take a nap. I haven't been able to lately and the stress of the obstacle course in my living room was worse than the exhaustion so I spent a good hour and a half and cleared the clothes from the couch. Things didn't feel quite as stressful when the kids woke up from their naps.
Mornings have been rough. Timmy has thrown up randomly a few times now and inevitably it's when everyone else is thirsty, hungry or needing to run to the bathroom. Oh my goodness! Forgetting to report the miracle of the month - Callie has decided to be potty trained again. She's not as stellar as she was, but she will just go into the bathroom and do her business all by herself. She loves the potty pig! However, there are still movies and playtime activities that win out on occasion.
Bless you, Amber, for coming over today! Could never get through this without such wonderful friends. She surprised me and came for an hour while Brooke was at a birthday party. She cleaned my front bathroom. Sooooo nice! During that time, I gave Timmy his Ursodiol and nebulizer treatment, got him nursed, diaper changed and dressed. Right after, he threw up so it was nice to have a clean bathroom to clean him up in.
The kids and I all spent the day in pjs again. Trevy and I got her cake baked during naptime today. Wish it was already decorated, but that would ruin my tradition of being in the process of icing while guests are arriving.
Having a preemie has been such a learning experience. Every step of the way. I think some part of me is still waiting for all the medical stuff to be over - no more doctor visits, no more medication, no more trach... - so I can have my "normal" newborn. The intellectual part of me tells that other part that that's not going to happen. Baby will be whatever age he is when all of this finally comes to pass. There is also a strange disconnect between having a newborn-size baby at home and having it be almost five months since I was pregnant with him. Having him in the NICU for 3.5 months has allowed my body to physically recover from the pregnancy so that I'm now just dealing with the part of having a newborn where you're getting up all night long to take care of baby and really don't have to take care of the recent postpartum issues.
So many things I never thought of. I'm sure there are many more to come. Just hope my patience, sleep level and everyone around me can handle this! Much love and appreciation to all for all the help and support!
2 comments:
You're doing awesome!
I find it difficult to juggle a preemie and a two year old, I can't imagine how tough it is with 4 kids. Cut yourself some slack. I think you're doing amazing!
"...but that would ruin my tradition of being in the process of icing while guests are arriving." Ha ha...cute.
*hugs*
Love the new sibling picture you have up. Trevlyn is looking so much like you! So sweet, it is nice to hear that you have so many wonderful people trying to help out. What great friends and family you have!
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